Friday, January 29, 2010

A Real Life Abbott & Costello Routine

Names and occupation have been changed, but aside from that I had this exact conversation at work today.

- - - - - - - -

ME: Generic City Program Office, can I help you?

WOMAN: Can I get a number for the Generic City Program Office?

ME: This is a Generic City Program Office, but there's more than one. Who are you looking for specifically?

WOMAN (OS, to MAN): He says there's more than one. Who are you looking for specifically? [inaudible] [to ME] I need to talk to someone at the Generic City Program Office.

ME: This is the Generic City Program Office, but there are different ones.

WOMAN: Hold on.

[MAN comes to phone]

MAN: I'm calling for my friend who needs to know who his Generic Program Person is.

ME: What's his name?

MAN: Ben.

ME: What's his last name?

MAN: Oh, I don't know. I just know him as Ben.

[Long pause.]

ME: Then I can't help you. There are different Generic City Program Offices, and without your friend's last name, I can't help you. You need to find out his last name, or find out which specific office you need.

MAN: I just need the number to the Generic City Program Office.

ME: This is a Generic City Program Office, but there is more than one.

MAN: Then just give me your number. I'll have him call you.

ME: ...But you just called me.

MAN: Fine. [Click]

[Exeunt]

9 comments:

Marilyn said...

Smile, you're on Candid iPhone!

bill r. said...

What the -- !? You guys got me!!

Pat said...

I love a loony-tunes phone conversation!

At my previous residence, I had a phone number which had once belonged to a paiting company, and I occasionally got calls for them. One time a lady asked for the painters and I told her the number was outdated and that there were no painters here. Her reply: "Are you sure?" It took every ounce of strength I had not to come back with "Well, if you hold on a minute, I'll look around and see if any painters snuck in here overnight."

Ivan said...

At least he wasn't looking for the Susquehanna Hat Company...

bill r. said...

Pat - Well? Were there any painters there? I bet you probably found one painting your bathroom later that night, and felt terribly foolish.

You really should have said, "Let me check", though. That would have been great.

Ivan - I could have gotten into the rhythm of that conversation more easily, I think.

Greg said...

So you work for a professional escort service huh? I mean, it's pretty obvious.

bill r. said...

Yes, but it's a city-run escort service. So yeah, we're pretty classy.

otherbill said...

I have a friend who once worked in a troubleshooting call center. One day, he gets a call from someone and starts adressing their problem. At a certain point, the caller says "can you see it better if I hold it up?". They're not talking about a webcam or ANYTHING that would have even a remote chance of giving my friend visual contact with the caller. My friend, after a moment's reflection, says "try moving closer to the potted fern". There's a pause and then the caller says "ok- how bout now?"

Roderick Heath said...

And remember Mr K they want you down at the central court at midnight for adjudication.

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