(Part One. Part Two.)
Once, Blue Baby had actually written about the time he first met Chim. Strictly speaking, Blue was, chronologically, a long way from that point in his life in his memoirs, but what made this autobiography so good, he thought, was that, within its pages, time really meant nothing. He jumped around as he pleased, wrote what he felt like writing, and knew that he would never feel the need to rearrange everything at some point so that the narrative would flow more easily. So he had cut into some anecdote about a professor he had once known (not an instructor of his own, but a friend of his father's). Blue had been young when the incident took place. This professor had collected blades: knives, swords, lawnmower blades, and so on. He taught history. One morning, Blue had awoken, looked out the window of his room, and saw the professor standing in front of their house, three blades somehow attached to the ground, pointing up at a slight angle towards the professor, who was wearing a nice suit. Blue’s mother and father stood a little to the side, arms folded, watching. The professor then let himself drop forward onto the blades.
Once, Blue Baby had actually written about the time he first met Chim. Strictly speaking, Blue was, chronologically, a long way from that point in his life in his memoirs, but what made this autobiography so good, he thought, was that, within its pages, time really meant nothing. He jumped around as he pleased, wrote what he felt like writing, and knew that he would never feel the need to rearrange everything at some point so that the narrative would flow more easily. So he had cut into some anecdote about a professor he had once known (not an instructor of his own, but a friend of his father's). Blue had been young when the incident took place. This professor had collected blades: knives, swords, lawnmower blades, and so on. He taught history. One morning, Blue had awoken, looked out the window of his room, and saw the professor standing in front of their house, three blades somehow attached to the ground, pointing up at a slight angle towards the professor, who was wearing a nice suit. Blue’s mother and father stood a little to the side, arms folded, watching. The professor then let himself drop forward onto the blades.
It
was a much more involved story than that, but he cut into this in order to talk
a little bit about Chim. Chim would have
been deeply flattered, Blue guessed, as long as he never actually read any of it.
It
went:
There is a man who lives very near me. He is small and yellow and I hate him. His name is Chim. As a rule, I do not like meeting people, and
I did not exactly like meeting Chim. But
it was sort of a hopeless situation, because I was entering my home early one
morning when I didn’t think anyone would see me, with two dead dogs, one under
each arm, and though I could open my own door easily enough this man decided to
be neighborly and help me with my packages.
He was drunk, I saw at once. Returning from a binge, I concluded. Drunk, yes, but the dogs did not cut through
his liquor haze, as one would assume they would. Instead, he took the Dalmatian from me, sank
a little under its weight, and said, “These’re some pretty dogs.” I thought he was long, long gone, but I said,
“They’re dead, you know.” He said, “I
know. I can see that.”
I
really should have taken the dog back after opening the door, but for some
reason I didn’t and he followed me into my home. He asked where he should put the dog. I put my Rottweiler in a corner, and
instructed him to stack the other dog on top.
He did, straightened up, smiling.
“Chim,” he said, reaching out a hand.
“Blue Baby,” I said, not extending my own. “Quite a joint you got here,” he said. “I’m and artist,” I told him. “No shit.
I can see, looking around. You
have some beautiful things.” Most of my
pieces on display utilized animals or garbage, and Chim asked me, quite out of
the blue, I thought, if I ever used human skins or human organs in my
work. I said that yes, I did. He then went on to tell me, in that utterly
charming way drunks have of talking well before they are aware of what they’re
saying, that he actually ate human flesh.
That he was actually a cannibal, and that was how he sustained his
life. I said, “No kidding?”
Blue thought of
that meeting, and his once-growing fascination with Chim that had long since
tapered off, as he went on his errands.
What a strange beast to get to know, to allow into his home and to, for
God’s sake, watch him work. Blue still
couldn’t believe that he had allowed Chim to watch him paint his blood-on-skin
mural. But he’d still been very caught
up in Chim’s way of life at the time. He
had hoped to learn something from the little insect. He hadn’t.
Anyway,
today was a good day for Blue. His
business took him downtown, and negotiating his great bulk through subway
stations, let alone the subway itself, had always been an ordeal. Blue liked to carry himself with a quietly
superior dignity, and for much of his life he had assumed that the darkness of
the city’s subterranean levels lent itself favorably to this projection, made
his stature seem sinister and unapproachable to others. But the subways, perhaps, cloaked him too
much. Not only did no one else seem to
notice him there, but he barely noticed himself. For the life of him, he couldn’t imagine why
this should be.
He
could get through it today, though. His
spirits were too high for anything so minuscule to affect him. Last night, as he wrote and wrote, a man had
called, a man Blue Baby knew named Meezik.
At first Blue Baby had felt terribly angry and impatient at the
interruption, but as Meezik explained the call Blue’s head began to swim in
glorious disbelief. What Meezik said,
what he offered, such a thing was impossible for someone like Blue. Yet Meezik did offer it.
Meezik
was a man of the Arts. Not an artist
himself, and not even a man whose artistic tastes Blue trusted in the least,
but one day some months back Meezik had come by Blue’s home, completely at random, the two having
never met before, to hand out fliers and to explain to Blue what it was exactly
that was written on them. Meezik very
much wanted Blue – wanted everyone in this area of the city especially because
he, for some unexplained reason, felt it was a very Bohemian district – to know
about an upcoming show that he was producing.
The show, Meezik explained, and the flier confirmed, was called Guillotine Nation, the performer’s name
was Lightbulb Annie, and past that, Meezik said ominously, it would be
imprudent to continue. Blue would have
closed the door in his face, but Meezik had stopped talking suddenly, on his
own. It turned out his eye had caught
Blue’s mural, the one in blood that he called Hometown.
“Are
you an artist?” Meezik asked.
“I
am,” Blue had said, nodding.
“Jesus,
that is amazing. What is it that you
painted that in? Is that paint?”
“It’s
blood.”
“That’s
what I thought. It’s beautiful.”
Blue
had agreed that it was, although he doubted that Meezik really understood the
piece. Still, his enthusiasm seemed
genuine. Blue would not let him inside
to show him any other pieces, though he did assure Meezik that his output was
prolific. Meezik had given Blue his
card. Blue wasn’t really sure what he
was supposed to do with it, but he thanked him and shut the door.
Then,
last night, the call. Blue didn’t know
how Meezik got his number, but the question soon became unimportant. Meezik told Blue that he could set up an
exhibit, a small one that was part of something larger, that would be held in
an abandoned meat-packing plant downtown.
If Blue was interested.
Blue
wasn’t interested at all, and that was partly why he was so elated; so elated
that he was subjecting himself to the indifference of the subway in order to
get a look at the beginnings of what must be one of the greatest artistic
monstrosities in the planet’s endless, unabated history of aesthetic debacle. It had to be bad. Meezik came off as a door-to-door salesman
for Guillotine Nation, and come to
think of it Blue now remembered reading a write-up on Guillotine Nation and Lightbulb Annie after opening night. The piece had not been so much a review as it
had been an account of the subsequent riot.
The stage, and Lightbulb Annie, had been rushed, though she had escaped
with nothing more than a chipped bone in her ankle. Annie had apparently been attempting to
urinate on the audience, who had been unappreciative. The article was a bit vague. But it told Blue that if Meezik’s spiel to
other potential attendees had been anything like the one he pitched to Blue
then he should probably consider being less cryptic in his description next
time.
But
none of that really had anything to do with why Blue was sure this current
exhibit would be such a joke. No, the
reason for that could be put far more simply: Meezik was trying to get people to go. For at least the second time in what must
have thus far been a ludicrous career as an Art Promoter, he was making the
mistake of trying to surround the work with humanity. And the work was almost certainly shit, which
didn’t help matters any. Every artist
worth his salt – and Blue Baby’s instincts told him he was the only one – knew
that anybody who might, by accident or on purpose, lay eyes on one of their
creations didn’t matter in the least.
Had no connection with it at all.
Were about as important to that piece of art as a praying mantis is to
the boot that crushes it.
So
all of this made Blue Baby positively giddy, and as he pried himself out of the
subway onto the dark and smoky platform, he still wasn’t entirely clear why
that was. Worthless art, the few times
he’d wasted a second or two to glance in its direction, had never affected him
positively before. It was worthless,
after all. He knew it wasn’t just the
prospect of laughing in Meezik’s face, although he planned to do just that once he’d
gotten his fill. No there, was something
else, not yet unearthed in Blue’s mind, some larger purpose and reason behind
his happiness.
Those
eyes Chim has, he decided, even then not sure what those eyes had to do with
anything. But those eyes were part of
it. Something to do with what he had
planned for those eyes. Whatever that
was.
Ah,
well. Things always came to Blue Baby
eventually. If he didn’t have the answer
now, he need merely wait until he caught sight of the leaf on the tree that
would somehow fall into place in his mind and complete the mosaic. Or words to that effect.
In any case, it
didn’t matter right now because he hadn’t even seen any of the show yet. Today was not the beginning of the public
exhibit, of course. Meezik had said, I
can set up an exhibit here in my new museum.
Interested? Then Blue Baby’d
said, Yes, when does it start? Meezik
told him. Not too long, he’d said, so
get on the ball. Blue Baby said, Well,
could I drop by and look at what you have so far? Get an idea of the flavor of the show? Capital idea! had been Meezik’s ringing
endorsement of the notion.
Standing now
above-ground, cleansed of the thickness of the subway by the revealing daylight,
Blue Baby looked down Juke Street, and down Juke Street a few blocks would be a
great big white building surrounded by a ten foot-high chain-link fence. In this part of the city the snow had been
swept into piles and choked with blackness, and everything managed to retain
its declining industrial feel. This
building would look like the area’s centerpiece. Meezik had said that there would be a bunch
of trashcans in rows, one row on either side of the front door, leading from
the front of the building to the front gate.
These trashcans would be filled with something – Meezik didn’t know
what, because he’d delegated the job to somebody else – that would burn
fiercely, but would also burn long. Two
rows of constant flames. Meezik’s
version of a red carpet, leading into the meat-packing plant.
Or, The
Meat-Packing Plant. It had been a steal,
this place, Meezik claimed, and he had converted it into his very own
gallery. Before the place had shut down,
it had been called Chinchine’s Meat-Packing Plant, Chinchine being a rather
powerful name in the meat-packing industry.
But for one reason or another, this particular plant couldn’t stand the
heat, and Meezik managed to snag it.
Other than dropping “Chinchine’s”, Meezik couldn’t think of any good
reason to rename the place, and Blue Baby had to admit that he couldn’t,
either, and he even admired Meezik’s restraint in not simply replacing
“Chinchine’s” with “Meezik’s”, although Meezik was probably just waiting to see
if the place caught on.
Now Blue Baby
began his slow walk between the rows of flaming trashcans, enjoying the gutter
regalness of it all. The lack of
movement or sound, apart from the snap and flicker of the fire, made him feel
like he was about to enter the grand fortress of some ancient and feared cult
that liberally practiced blood sacrifices and animal orgies in praise of
whatever it was they praised. It was an
oddly nice feeling. And what was Chinchine, anyway? Meat-packers.
Not just meat-packers, either;
surely they ran their own slaughterhouses.
What went on in those places?
Like everyone else, Blue had an idea, but in his current frame of mind
it was pleasant to imagine nine-foot tall men, edging into their tenth decade,
decked out in great red and white robes – red for blood and meat, white for
sinew and bone – standing above the killing floor and shouting and spitting
down to their acolytes that the blood-heat must grow and burn,
and that the panicked, fearful lows of the round-eyed, foam-mouthed cows must
reach the wailing-pitch of the maniacally religious. Pluck out the eyes, he would tell them,
because the eyes of the dead were as full of life and light as those of the
living, it was the body only that died, and once you hold those eyes in your
hands, squeeze, crush them into glue, and smear that glue onto your axes and
saws and knives, and cut the throat of the next dumb-faced cow. Blue Baby had heard that in the old-time
slaughterhouses, during the real, deep-down cutting, the slaughterers would slice out the anus
of each dead cow and, for whatever reason, slip them up their muscled biceps. So, at the end of the day, they’d
have built up this sectioned, caterpillar-like armband of these, well, these
cow anuses. Who knew why, but there’s a cult for you!
But, sadly,
no. He wasn’t stepping through the
doorway of any beef-oriented cult. It
was just some shitty art museum. Blue
Baby wouldn’t know the machinery of meat-packing if he sat on it, but he could
still tell that all of that stuff had been cleared out. Maybe Chinchine still owned it, but if Meezik
had any brains he would have bought it off them. Meezik’s mistakes just kept piling up. Those machines, and their history, would have
been a nice antidote to the cloying presence of people that had turned the
building into a shopping mall.
The place was gigantic,
and people were everywhere. Blue
couldn’t understand it. Giant white
walls with black and gray scuffs low along the walls, and gritty black floors. Without the people this place would look
surprisingly like an empty factory. Or
perhaps an old meat-packing plant. And
where had all these people come from?
Today the opening of the show.
That wasn’t for a few days, yet, still, people. There must have been exhibits set up, but
Blue couldn’t find them. Couldn’t find
Meezik, either. Blue stood just inside
the door, looking around helplessly.
What the hell was this?
Then he felt a tug
at his sleeve, and he looked into the face of a young woman with white lips and
a black nose. It may have been make-up,
maybe not. But she was holding up a flier,
the same kind of flier Meezik had presented him with as an invitation to see Guillotine Nation. However, this flier was purple, and the other
had been pink, and it was advertising not Guillotine
Nation but a different art show called Righteous
Shit!: The Artists for Today. It gave the date the show began, and Blue was
right, it wasn’t today. And, wup, there
it was, at the top, Meezik’s Meat-Packing
Plant. Couldn’t go five minutes
without fucking it all to hell.
“Be sure to come,”
the woman said. “It’ll be like nothing
you’ve ever seen.”
“I plan on putting
up and exhibit myself,” Blue told her.
“I’m here to see Meezik, to find out more about that, but I can’t seem
to find him.”
“Oh, shit, okay,”
the woman said, and she pointed up.
There was a flight of stairs that led up to a second-floor which
consisted entirely of a mezzanine that ran around the interior perimeter of the
building. And there, with his back to
the railing, Blue picked out Meezik’s distinctive white pigtails.
“There he is,” she
said.
“Thank you. And what are all these people doing here
today?”
“A lot of them are
artists and their friends and like that.
They’re getting all set up.”
“Oh, I see. Thank you.”
Well, that was
perfect. Well-wishers.
Blue went up the
stairs. Up here there weren’t very many
people, and Meezik spotted Blue right off.
The bone-thin white creature clapped his powdery hands, and his
flashlight eyes went from the sleeping slits of a clap-wearied loser to
half-dollars as soon as Blue filled his vision.
“Oh my God!”
Meezik breathed. “Sir, I didn’t think
you’d come by.”
“I said I would,”
said Blue.
“I know, but – “
“Do you not
believe me to be a man of my word?”
“No, of course
not, but – “
“I can’t see
anything down there,” Blue said, peering at the main floor of the plant. “What are all these people?”
“Well-wishers. A lot of our artists are young men and women,
and this is their first exhibit. It’s a
big deal, so, you know, I thought I’d, for those who wanted to set up early, I
said they could have friends or family come help out. Say good luck, you know.”
“Yes, I know how
it is. Still, I wanted to take a look
around, see what kind of show I’d be associating myself with, and I haven’t
seen a single painting. There are a lot
of people down there to just be well-wishers.”
As if he doubted
Blue, Meezik turned and looked down to the floor below, at all the milling
heads. Blue didn’t bother, but he kept
his ears open to catch the complete lack of nuance in the conversation that
drifted up. Everyone seemed to be
talking, and not a single word was intelligible. So many words were pouring fourth, so many
people seemed to feel they had so much to say, but all you had to do was listen
to realize this wasn’t true. Otherwise,
some of that good-will and enthusiasm would filter through, Blue would be able
to tell that some mother was saying to her daughter that her paintings were
very lovely, the colors were very nice, very pretty, or someone’s friend or
lover telling his artist-associate that their giant clay erection statue was
really quite stunning. But there was
none of that. It was merely the whir of
machinery, the hum of a great press.
Blue couldn’t help wondering – in a purely metaphorical way, of course –
if machines left ghosts, because he felt deeply that Chinchine’s old robot
workers were still hanging around somehow, and still drawing in the meat,
sucking it in from the outside, into this room, where these ghosts then, smooth
and coldly, pack it.
“Well,” Meezik was
saying, his pigtails hanging towards the crowd, “I suppose my only answer is
that I guess my show is going to be bigger than you thought.”
Meezik’s grin was
extremely satisfied.
“Apparently so,”
Blue smiled back. “It’s very
impressive. But could I squeeze in, do
you suppose, and take a look?”
“Absolutely. Absolutely.
I’m sure everyone would be just very honored.”
Meezik led the way
back downstairs, and all the way down he would throw occasional glances back at
Blue Baby. Then, on the floor, he
motioned for Blue to join his side, and the two of them cut into the
crowd. People parted for Meezik. Blue looked into each face he passed.
“Let’s begin
here,” Meezik said, and Blue saw suddenly that they were standing in front of a
wall. Set into that wall was a series of
masks. These masks would be at eye-level
for most people, but Blue had to look down at them. The colors were strange, sort of a swirl of
colored oils, and Blue could vaguely tell that each face – they were a man’s
face – got older, and, apparently, angrier.
The colors in the masks seemed to shift as he looked at them. Beneath the masks was a small black card with
white lettering that said: THE AGE OF
RAGE. The artists name, listed below the
title, was Pop Bykhunt, which sounded made up to Blue Baby.
“Pop’s not here
today, which is a shame,” Meezik said.
“But isn’t that something?”
“It’s horrific,”
said Blue.
Meezik looked at
him, and Blue looked back. He could tell
that Meezik wasn’t sure how to take that critique, and Blue wasn’t about to
elucidate.
“Let’s move on,”
he said.
Meezik
nodded. The next piece was a
sculpture. It consisted of a bent and
horribly bashed-up car fender. This
fender was twisted into a circle, and trapped in the middle of that circle,
trapped in the metal, was a crude granite rendering of a nude woman, her head
thrown back, legs kicking out desperately.
This piece was called FEMINFINITY, the artist was Ula Munk, a woman who
happened to be there now, at Meezik’s side.
She was smiling, trying to seem detached and proud at the same
time. She had sunken cheeks, and she was
topless.
“This is Ula
Munk,” Meezik said. “This is her
sculpture.”
Blue looked at
her. Her own glance was defiant.
“This is a waste
of a good fender,” Blue told her. Then
he moved on, able to find his way from exhibit to exhibit without Meezik, who,
in any case, now stood a bit stunned while Ula said things like “Fucking fat
bastard” to Blue’s back.
A giant painting,
very detailed, of a seaweed-green man, thin from starvation, with bloody
genitals, was next. This one was called
MY LOVER. The painter’s name flit by his
eyes like a subliminal message that didn’t quite do it’s job.
There was a lot
more after that. A lot more. It was indeed a large show. Blue no longer talked to people, wasn’t aware
of any of the hungry young artists watching appraise their masterworks in the
time it would take them to strike a match.
Titles became a blur, except for the ones that bore the appropriate
name, UNTITLED. There were fewer of
these than Blue Baby would have expected.
He did linger over these, but even then he focused on the title card
more than anything else. One painter had
three works on display. The first
painting showed an angel, sort of, the top half bright and blonde and heavenly,
while the lower half seemed to have been sunk into a well-used toilet,
excrement dripping down into some vaguely defined, but clearly interested,
maw. The second painting was less clear,
but there seemed to be a flag involved, and this flag, through what appeared to
be a rain of coins, was evidently oppressing something in the lower half of the
painting. Meanwhile, the final painting
was pretty well indecipherable. Very
dark colors showed several rows of ragged, skewed columns. Stepping back a bit, Blue Baby saw that they
could be dozens of outstretched, pleading arms.
Whatver they were, the point was that these paintings were titled,
respectively, UNTITLED #1, UNTITLED #2, and UNTITLED #3. Blue couldn’t say much for the paintings, but
he loved those titles.
Many paintings,
many sculptures, some hints that there would be live artistic performances when
the actual show began. One piece of
floor was roped off, and a card on the wall proclaimed that this spot was set
aside for Lightbulb Annie (herself!), who would be performing something called Cucumber Train Ride three times a day,
every day of the show’s run. This would
involve nudity and live sexual acts, the card warned.
It was a while
before Blue found what he was looking for, though he didn’t know he’d been
looking for anything at all. Set off
there, in a corner. The artist, perhaps,
was in the bathroom. In any case, no one
seemed to be there ready to claim it, and if not for the black title card it
could have been mistaken for a piece of trash that hadn’t been swept up when
Chinchine left town.
This piece was a
statue, of sorts, and it didn’t appeal to Blue because of what it was, or what
it was called. He liked it because no
one appeared to be watching him right now, and it was small enough to steal. Even so, the tiny statue, called MAN RISING,
was an amazingly weak effort. Hodling
the tiny man, it felt to Blue that it was made out of sugar, rice, and
glue. Some little boy probably got a
check-plus for this. Blue could actually
hear little grains falling to the floor and the stool on which it had
rested. Blue held it in both hands, then
hefted it in one hand. He let that hand
drop to his side, and a little behind him.
Then he began to edge towards the front door.
“This show, and
this museum,” he suddenly called out, “are doomed to failure.”
Everyone turned to
him. Meezik caught his eye, and looked
as though someone had just murdered his favorite uncle. He stared in shock and wounding disbelief at
the giant blue man, the man he still felt was a fine painter.
“The only way this
show can succeed,” Blue went on, opening the door with his free hand, “is if
you all lock yourselves in here and burn the place down.”
Then Blue was out
the front door, and he raced to the front gate before the fire from the
trashcans could melt the statue.
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