Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The Great Last Lines In Literature: A Quiz

We all like to read. We love great books, and we love great language that makes our hearts soar and ponder the human condition. We love books with great points that are relatable. But the best thing about a great book is usually its ending. All the great classics have great endings. But can you remember them? Let's say, for instance, I were to give you a series of great endings to read. Could you name the novel just reading their endings? Well if you think you're such a big deal, let's put that to the test. Or should I say, to the quiz??? Below you'll find just such a collection of classic novel endings. Read them, and in the comments give me your answers. The first person to get them all right wins a bucket of grade-A shrimp!

Man
A)

"Do you know what I think, Nick Carraway?" she asked me.

"What's that, Daisy Buchanan?" I replied

"I think it's true what they say: the sun also rises!"

Then we started doing it.

B)

"Well, you're safe now, my lad!" boomed the captain. "That whale almost got you!"

"Yes, thank you, guv'nah! Arrr!" said I. "But you must tell me, just what is the name of that terrifying whale??"

"Why, matey, that was the famous Moby-Dick!"

I spit out my Coke. What a name for a whale! I was pretty surprised.

C)

"Upon further consideration, I'm glad I failed," said Atticus.

D)

And just like that I decided I wasn't going to burn any more books. I thought a fireman should put out fires, personally. I turned in my letter of resignation after lunch. Captain Beatty said "I'm sorry to see you go. You are very good at burning books. But listen, good luck, okay?" When I left I was pretty scared, though, because now I didn't have a job.

E)

By this point, all the pigs could talk. So could the cows and the horses and all the other animals on the farm. Sheepy Sheeplin noticed that they just kept fighting each other and the pigs, especially, were getting to be a bit much. He turned to Lamby Sheepbo and said "Can you fuckin' believe this?"

F)

"Why hello, madam, would you like to dance to the music of time with me?"

"Fuck off."

"No, you fuck off!"


G)

Joe Christmas ate the Southern chew-leaves in the heat of the heavy curtains. There was a violence of fury among the travelling men through the slats of the weedy yard-fence. Joe Christmas spat in a rage, his spit a whole hot universe. "Okay," he said to the old man who dripped sweat like a Civil War Bible, "just do me a favor -- leave my balls alone." The old man said "No chance."

H)

While his wife Molly masturbated, Leopold Bloom took a long hot shit.

5 comments:

  1. I will never admit publicly how much I laughed at this. Never.

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  2. I'm pretty sure the last one is HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF CHICKEN, HALF GORILLA MONSTER. I'll get back to you on the rest.

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  3. Jason Compson slept fitfully in the swampy heat, waking with a start as his arms were restrained against the bed. He looked up into Benjy's idiot face, surprised not only to be wakened like this but also to see his brother looking happy. Dilsey stood behind Benjy, her spindly hand upon the man's back.

    "Benjy, get off of me," Jason said. Benjy didn't move. Jason squirmed but was held tight.

    "Dilsey, what is the meaning of this?" She looked at him, so old.

    "I'm about done enduring," she said.

    "Why does it smell like trees in here," he asked.

    Caddy's knife stroke across his throat was steady.

    "Take my daughter's money, would you?" she said. "You signify nothing, Jason Compson."

    After, on the way to Caddy's new home, they stopped for the ice cream Benjy had been promised, going the right way around the square.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jason Compson slept fitfully in the swampy heat, waking with a start as his arms were restrained against the bed. He looked up into Benjy's idiot face, surprised not only to be wakened like this but also to see his brother looking happy. Dilsey stood behind Benjy, her spindly hand upon the man's back.

    "Benjy, get off of me," Jason said. Benjy didn't move. Jason squirmed but was held tight.

    "Dilsey, what is the meaning of this?" She looked at him, so old.

    "I'm about done enduring," she said.

    "Why does it smell like trees in here," he asked.

    Caddy's knife stroke across his throat was steady.

    "Take my daughter's money, would you?" she said. "You signify nothing, Jason Compson."

    After, on the way to Caddy's new home, they stopped for the ice cream Benjy had been promised, going the right way around the square.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Hello, He Lied."

    ReplyDelete