Sunday, May 24, 2009

Very Brief Musings on My Bloody Valentine

Brief Musing #1 - Where, exactly, did the idea of pairing a Valentine's Day-themed slasher film with coal mining come from? I've never seen the original 1981 film, but I gather the remake is similar to it in at least this respect, so, 28 years ago, did somebody who wanted to hop on this slasher money-train that was just leaving the station think, "Valentine's Day. That's my angle. But how in the name of God do I tie horrifyingly bloody carnage to a holiday that celebrates love and romance?? Think...c'mon, man, think! Wait, wait, I think I got it...coal mining!" I'll bet that's actually what happened.

Brief Musing #2 - At one point, two characters are just beginning a very tense (ostensibly) scene that will end with one of their deaths (one so callous that I don't think this film even came close to earning it). Since the characters are only fairly nervous at this stage, they're still able to joke about their behavior, and one says, "I'm kind of a pussy sometimes." The line is delivered well by the actress, Megan Boone, and the moment felt very real and human. It is the only time the film ever felt like that.

Brief Musing #3 - Apparently, horror fans are very forgiving if the lame-ass "creative kills" they paid to see involve bits of things flying straight at their faces. This remake of My Bloody Valentine is nothing more than a nostalgia trip for people who long for the days of Jaws 3D and Comin' at Ya! Really, does anybody -- outside of James Cameron and, maybe, George Lucas (I consider them to be pretty much the same guy anyway) -- honestly believe that this new wave of 3D movies heralds some sort of change in the way films are made? Or that 3D is the new Technicolor? Because I sure don't, and my limited experience with it so far (part of this film, at home, on DVD, with 3D glasses bought for 15 cents at Blockbuster -- we switched over to 2D about a half hour in because it was annoying; and one of the Harry Potter movies shown on 3D Imax) has been quite underwhelming. Which is not to say it hasn't been occasionally "cool", just not very, and not for long. But I don't know, maybe this shit will take off and 3D will be a cinematic innovation on the level of adding sound. If that turns out to be the case, then may God help us all..

12 comments:

Krauthammer said...

James Cameron and, maybe, George Lucas (I consider them to be pretty much the same guy anywayNow that's just mean.

bill r. said...

Prove me wrong, Krauthammer. Prove me wrong.

Ed Howard said...

I'm not sure who that's a bigger insult to, but I certainly can't disagree.

And my fiancée loves that Jensen Ackles guy who's in this movie, and even that couldn't get her to drag me to this, thankfully.

bill r. said...

So is anyone that pumped for Avatar? I'm not. Which doesn't mean I won't see it, but the film could be visually amazing, and that won't improve Cameron's writing one bit.

Fox said...

Bill-

I must know... what did you think of "the midget scene"? That - plus the running naked lady - was pretty bizarre.

bill r. said...

Fox - What's to think about? You put in a midget that people can laugh at for being born a midget, and then you have her get killed in such a way that highlights the facts that she's small! That's what everyone wants from their horror films, right??

As for the naked girl...ah, I didn't mind that so much.

Honestly, I was kind of amazed that the filmmakers didn't shoot for more brutality in the naked girl's death. That's the standard MO of slasher films. If someone's naked, they will have the goriest death, but here you don't even see it. Which is fine, as far as I'm concerned, although they sort of backtrack on that in the very next scene.

In the commentary track, the film's co-writer talks about loving how the naked girl "fights back". Like he's proud of the scene and the statement it makes. Okay, pal.

Fox said...

Like he's proud of the scene and the statement it makes. Okay, pal....

HA! Nothing can make a stupid movie stupider than when a director/writer tried to convince us to take their movie more serious than we should.

I didn't see the movie in 3-D, so I just figured they had the woman running around so long so people could see her 3-D double Ds bouncing around... I never thought it being a statement of female empowerment!

bill r. said...

Those weren't double Ds...

But anyway, yes, I'm sure that's why she was naked for so long. It really was kind of alarming how long that scene went on.

Fox said...

Those weren't double Ds......

I just liked the phonetics in saying "3D double D".

Krauthammer said...

I'm like, super exited for Avatar, not gonna lie.

bill r. said...

More power to you, Krauthammer. But Cameron has burned me too many times. Even when I went back to Aliens recently, I was very, very underwhelmed, and I used to think that was the one time he got it absolutely right.

Sarah said...

This doesn't totally answer your first question, but the name of the town in the original MBV was called Valentine's Bluff. It was changed for the re-make. I forget the reason why it was set in a mining town though, I think it's discussed in the original's DVD re-release.

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